I will not even start off by how long it's been because let's be real, I never blog lol.

So, things are... moving along. Might as well start off with the living situation, and although I feel it is progessively moving, it could go alittle quicker with alittle more effort; probably from my end. I do find myself more comfortable and a bit less overwhelmed with my new responsibilities. However, I still struggle with adopting the fact that the apartment is in fact "my home" as much as it is my roomies. It's really no ones fault for me feeling that way. it's just taking some time for me. But the new decor definetely makes the house feel more new and ours now more than before. It looks AWESOME! I feel bad not much was thanks to me, just because I've been working lately. Which leads me to another topic, my new JOB.

"Hi, welcome to Houlihans!"
LOL. I F I N A L L Y left Dr. Jays, and got a new job at Houlihans as a hostess. I must say, it feels fxcking great to not spend friggin 12 hr days in Dr. Jays. I literally lived there for the past yr and 7 months and I feel so FREE! I do miss a few people, and working in the city, but other than that I couldn't be happier I finally made the move. Houlihans is pretty different than what I'm used to I must say. It's pretty damn easy; greet customers and seat people. And sooner or later I'll learn to take to go orders but it's an overall simple and chill job compared to my previous cashier duties. However, I am the "new girl". And ugh, it sucks. I mean I'm so shy, and it sucks coming into a place where every one is super cool with eachother and I'm the odd man out. But then I just think back to when I started my other job, and realize it took me awhile to build relationships with people. It's just a matter of time you know. I'm still learning the ropes, and hopefully people there can warm up to me and vice versa. Overall, I like this new gig... now all I need is more hours. LOL. But that too can only happen with time. So, patience is going to play a big role for awhile in my life.

I regretfully admit that school has been my last priority these past few months. Words can't even describe how dissapointed I am in myself and my performance in school. it upsets me because I know what I am capable of when it comes to school. Aside from me being lazy, with all these new changes that have been taking place recently, school has just taken the back seat for me. I mean, the semester is over in 2 weeks. I dropped 2 courses, and the other 2 I still have, I pretty much did a shxt job in. Theres really no sense in me being very bitter about it because there's no going back now. But I did apply to transfer to William Patterson, which is where i was originally suppose to attend. If all goes well, I will be going there in September. I figure, new apartment, new job and then new school ... hopefully I can find a new found focus there. Bergen just isn't doing it for me anymore. Trying to see some good in the sucky situation you know.


I'm still searching ... searching for myself that is. A mist all these changes I'm going through, I sure do have a longgggggg way to go. Yeah I'm trying... but I just need to keep moving. it's been hard for me but I gotta keep motivated and actually get this DAMN ball rolling. Talk is cheapppp so once I start getting shxt poppin, you will be informed. lol.



kk that's all I've got for now.