hiya.
So today ... I actually felt I NEEDED to blog. Iduno lately it's been hard to express myself verbally to anyone .. so why not just talk here?
I spoke with my Dad today. He always seems to make me feel better, and kind of inspires me. His positivity and support just really makes the world of a difference. I was explaining to him how since I've made the move, I don't feel much has really changed like I thought it would. Maybe my expectations were a bit too high? I'm not even sure what I was even expecting to happen once I moved out .. But other than not being home as much, and having more responsibilties $ .. that's really about it. It's work, some school, and a few hrs a day with my roomates. It's just routine. A different routine, but routine none the less .. and I really want more than that. I made this huge step most of all for me. My father was saying how I should make a list. A list of things I want to do or accomplish; things that have nothing to do with work school family or anything apart of my day to day . Things that I really wanna do.. for myself. Whether it be to go some place, read some book, whatever. It sounded like a pretty good idea. It can make me feel like I'm actually doing things rather than stressing the usual .. and just taking time for myself. So I will be working on that list .. and posting it soon enough to share.
Also, sometimes I feel perhaps that experience really didn't reach expectations of the 3 of us on my behalf. I haven't taken the time to enjoy or make the best of the pretty cool situation. Instead I've just stressed and worn myself out. I feel like I'm turning into an old lady or something, because I'm always tired so whenever I do have alittle time I'm not up for much. And that has to show .. in I guess my attitude. I'd really like to change that. I've pretty much gotten into the swing of things, and adjusted for the most part. So now it's time to quit stressing and just be happy and have fun with this because afterall this was supposed to be a postive move .. so I'm going to attempt to go about with a positive attitude .. and do more . I'd like to be a better roomate, and do more things for myself and stop stressing. My dad helped motivate me ... and I'm gonna try to keep that motivation UP because it's been lost for awhile.
Changing subject a bit, since I've taken a lighter load this semester at school, I've decided after this semester I am going to take May & June off ... and then taking a few courses in July and August. Just to keep things moving because I really don't want to slack or get behind because afterall school should be my #1 prIority no matter what. So I can take that time to have a short vaca .. and refocus myself !
IN ADDITION ... it is 20 days untill my 20th birthday. Kinda excited Kinda not. LOL Maybe because I have no plans. But I'd just like to go out with friends, and just have a good time. Where? not sure. I'd also like to spend alil time with my family too. AND get the weekend off from work. yikes lol maybe I'm asking for too much ...
